Why!?
This is the question I’ve gotten the most since we started sharing the news that we were moving to Portugal. Why? Why leave our home, our friends, our family? Why Portugal? Why now? And people seem confused when I can’t give one neat and tidy answer. The truth is that there were so many tiny pieces (and a few big ones), both easy and difficult to articulate, that led to this massive undertaking.
The food.
People think I’m joking when I say the food was a factor, and was possibly even the final deciding factor, for us moving to Portugal. Most of our family are gluten free for our physical and mental health. Most of us are also sensitive to dairy and have to be careful to limit it. One of kids has terrible reactions to all corn and corn derivatives, and does best when avoiding food dyes. Guess what? The vast majority of gluten free foods has corn derivatives (xanthum gum in gluten free bread, citric acid [which does not come from citrus] in pretty much every single snack, etc). We have to get any medicine compounded—a bottle of 60 capsules of ibuprofen is over $100 to have compounded corn free, and expires within a few months because of the lack of preservatives. Did you know that your usual over the counter medications is full of food dyes too?
When we visited Portugal in the fall of 2025, staying gluten free was fairly easy but I couldn’t manage food labels, translation apps and grocery stores well enough to eliminate things like corn and its derivatives. We were all (pleasantly) surprised to find it wasn’t an issue. Even highly processed foods like McDonald’s didn’t cause issues. Food dyes are less pervasive, at least in the foods we usually eat. The least sensitive of our gluten free family members was even able to eat some gluten with no issue.
Beyond the dietary restrictions, we all physically felt much better. Indigestion, heart burn, reflux, low level stomach aches—they didn’t happen here. And trust me when I say we were NOT eating healthy. We were here 3 weeks and visited McDonald’s 8 times. We ate gelato every other day. We ate a lot of cheese and yogurt (I mean, a lot). And still felt better.
The safety.
This is a hard one to put into words. Since 1999, there’s been a slowly building sense of danger. School shootings, terrorism, random mass shootings in public, assaults and murders, human trafficking. The safety of kids, women’s safety, public safety— there’s always something in the news, on social media feeds, in conversations about the newest lockdown drills, ways to protect yourself, and what to do in case of a shooting. I didn’t think it was really impacting me because I make a really strong effort to not fall down those algorithms online, my kids were homeschooled (although my husband was a public school teacher), and yet. It was still in society’s collective consciousness, still lingering in the back of our minds constantly. When we were here, I noticed women did not seem to be as on edge. I didn’t notice them subtly checking their surroundings frequently. In talking to women who lived here, they made sure they were aware of pickpockets (no large, open totes in big cities/tourist areas!), but generally weren’t concerned about going for a solo run or hike. It just…wasn’t a thing. And school shootings? Mass public shootings? Also not a thing. I’m not saying bad things don’t happen here because they absolutely do, but it’s far less common. I didn’t realize I had started to let my guard down here until I returned to the US and it was jarring.
The pace of life.
This is the reason we give to people the most often, and ended up being the most true, and the part I was most excited for. The type of lifestyle I dream about is not achievable for us if we stayed in the US: focus on family time, relaxed pace, no hustle, slow meals, time for boredom and hobbies. Jon needed to work full time as a teacher in order to provide income and healthcare. I needed to work full time to provide income. But in both of us working full time, we were still often living on a tight budget due to increasing student loan fees, expenses for food (see above—the cost of a low processed diet, a gluten free diet, and needing things to also be corn/dairy/dyes free meant we were paying more than our mortgage on groceries each month). There was no family time. American culture doesn’t value slowing down, being present, relaxing, and just taking your time. Portugal offered the opportunity that Jon could quit his job, private healthcare is affordable, and the whole country moves at a much slower pace. It’s been less than a month since we moved and our stress levels have already dropped tremendously.
The culture.
Neither of us have any ties to Portugal: our families are not from here, we do not speak the language (yet), we don’t own property here. But when we visited, we were made to feel welcome everywhere we went. The staff and teachers at schools we visited, property managers of houses we considered renting, even employees and owners at little shops—the vast majority were helpful and kind to an extent that I have very rarely experienced in the US. The history that’s present here, access to nature and quiet spaces, the simple and delicious foods— it all added up to a culture we really enjoyed.
Adventure.
Ever since I started homeschooling the kids after COVID, I found worldschooling (a homeschooling approach that incorporates extensive travel and living abroad as part of educating kids) appealing. I’ve spent time brainstorming ways to make it happen. Living in Portugal is the ultimate jump into worldschooling. We’re all immersed in a country with a different culture. What adventure could be bigger than that? The opportunity for the kids to learn a second language—priceless. Showing our kids that if a place isn’t the right fit for you, it’s ok to leave and discover new places. It’s ok—encouraged, even—to be global citizens, to see how other parts of the world experience life, and to broaden their experiences.
The elephant in the room.
And the reason many people assume we moved: US politics. We are an LGBTQ+ allied, neurodiveregent affirming family that continuously seeks to deconstruct racism within ourselves and the systems. We did not want to live in or raise our children in a country where the overseeing government is actively harming the Queer community, Black and brown people, stigmatizing neurodivergence, and generally moving in a direction that completely conflicts with our personal family values.
Why?
Because we wanted to, we wanted something different, and we had the circumstances in which we could make it happen.
So we did.
Unrelated random bits and pieces…
What I’m reading this week:
Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell
Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman
Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien (with the Oldest)
Candymakers and the Great Chocolate Chase by Wendy Mass (with the Youngest)
What I’m excited about eating this week:
local goat cheese & fruit jam
potato sticks on everything